Have you, or are you, struggling with emotional issues or emotional ‘stuckness’?
Have you been to any therapists or doctors in the mental health field hoping to have your issues identified and resolved, only to feel like nothing has really been taking place as far as real healing is concerned?
And have you wondered how to heal yourself emotionally when so many professionals and methods don’t seem to be working?
If so, first of all you are NOT alone.
Second, the truth is we are sort of in the dark ages when it comes to real emotional intelligence and consequently emotional healing in our world currently.
But don’t worry, there are in fact many amazing teachers, methods, and techniques available that you can start using right now to start healing yourself from emotional trauma, or any kind of emotional pain or stuckness.
First of All, What are Emotions and How do They Get ‘Damaged’?
It might seem kind of silly to think that our emotions or emotional selves can be damaged in any way since they are mostly invisible and intangible.
Yet many of us are walking around in our lives with a lot of unresolved emotional pain, damage, and trauma.
To put it simply, our emotional selves are sort of like our core selves.
This is our feeling self, the seat of where we feel things and experience life.
Of course we are all familiar with the range of emotions we can feel, things like sadness, anger, jealousy, happiness, shock, confusion, joy, love…..the list goes on.
But there are actually many more emotions and feelings we are able to experience that we haven’t quite been able to put into words currently.
These emotions and feelings can be experienced by anyone who has an open, cleared emotional self.
When things are operating properly and smoothly for us on an emotional level, we are free, clear, and open to being exactly who we are as beings of light and joy.
In this state we are completely free and open to being able to experience life in a more complete and full way.
We are able to connect with others more because we are more connected to ourselves.
There’s sort of a free flow like the waves of the ocean moving in and out freely.
However, if we experience things in our life and specifically in our child hood that conditions our brains that it is not safe to be open, free, and vulnerable as we are, parts of our brains, or neural pathways to be more exact, begin to shut down around certain events in our lives in order to protect us from more danger or harm.
These events or experiences create what’s called compartmentalizations in the brain and act as stumbling blocks and in some cases actual blocks to our being and our lives.
In this way, our emotions or emotional selves become ‘damaged’.
It’s kind of like our brain starts to attack us from within in the form of our thoughts. This kind of thing causes us anxiety and to withdraw from those around us and the world among other things.
In other words, when you experience abuse in any form or of dealing with people with whom you learn you can’t trust on an emotional level, it trains and conditions your brain and thoughts to start attacking yourself on a regular basis.
Many of us are experiencing this kind of thing on a regular daily basis and we don’t even know it.
In this way are we emotionally damaged and continue to hurt and damage ourselves either with our own thoughts and lifestyle, the people we attract and allow in our lives, or both.
The Keys to Healing our Emotional Selves and to be Free of the Pain from the Past
So if by being abused and hurt, specifically by those whom we were supposed to trust and be open with the most, we learn to hurt and damage ourselves over and over, how do we heal from all this?
There are many tools, methods, modalities, and philosophies of how to go about doing this, but if you were to boil all methods down to the basics of emotional healing and well-being you would find there are two fundamental components.
- The ability to freely express oneself
- The ability to have radical self love
If these two areas are fully functioning in an individual you will find that they are not only the happiest and most pleasant people with whom to be around, but that they are also the most emotionally healthy.
So, in order to heal our emotional selves and to be free of any past pain, trauma, or hangups, we must fundamentally regain our ability for free self expression, as well as to cultivate our ability to have radical self love and self care.
The First Key: Free Self Expression
So what does free self expression mean anyway?
Simply put, this is our ability to speak from our hearts as far as what we really think and feel on any given subject.
It’s the ability to be seen and heard by others and not be afraid to be vulnerable in doing so.
If you think about free self expression it’s all about being vulnerable enough to be seen and heard either by one other person or a group of people either small or large.
This can include simply speaking from the heart to others as mentioned above, but it can also include things like singing or dancing.
Whatever you can do to be freely self expressive with others will allow you to trust yourself more and to rebuild your ability to be vulnerable, open, and consequently intimate with other people.
This is the first step of healing emotionally and of working to repair the damage of abuse and mistrust.
The Second Key to Emotional Healing: Radical Self Love
The second key to emotional health and well-being, which some would call happiness and joy itself, lies in the area of radical self love and care.
And what is meant by this?
Well if you pay close attention to the way you treat yourself or think about yourself, you may or may not be the most loving with yourself.
And we’re talking about self love on all levels:
- Mental self love in the form or our own internal thoughts and our own inner critic
- Physical self love in the form of taking care of ourselves with proper diet and exercise
- Emotional self love by taking time to tend to your emotional wounds and to heal them
- Personal self love by taking time to do things that you enjoy on a regular basis
- Economic love by making sure you are able to take care of yourself monetarily
- And spiritual love by cultivating your connection to your inner spirit and higher self
When these areas are consciously tended to and taken care of on a regular basis, you are practicing self love.
In this way you are actually generating the love and fulfillment you’ve been seeking from your parents or others all these years within yourself and are thereby able to have real and genuine love.
Failing to tend to these areas of ourselves will result in us not feeling happy, feeling depressed, worthless, anxious, and have trouble connecting with others and of attracting healthy happy loving people into our lives.
Wrapping it Up
So to sum it all up, emotional health and well-being consists of two fundamental keys: the ability to have free self expression or vulnerable openness with others, and the ability for radical self love and self care.
When these two keys are in place, you will feel open, whole, connected, free, and most importantly: loved.
This is the foundation of emotional health and well-being, regardless of the modality you use to get these needs met, and it is also the foundation of happiness itself.
So what are you waiting for?
Start opening up with others, connecting with yourself, and of starting to practice radical love and self care today.
It’s a little challenging, but I promise you if you are able to cultivate love within yourself, your life will never be the same.