Would YOU like to know HOW to be emotionally healthy?
Btw, what is emotional health anyway?
And is it important?
In this post we are going to be taking a look at the subject of emotional health and provide 3 ways for YOU to start your journey toward becoming emotionally healthy today!
First, What is Emotional Health?
Now you may be someone who is quite familiar with emotions and the emotional spectrum, or you may be one of those people who really doesn’t know WHAT’S going on when it comes to emotions.
So before we begin, why don’t we shed a little light on the issue and find out what emotional health actually is?
According to Dr. Juli Fraga in an article at healthline.com, emotional health:
“focuses on being in tune with our emotions, vulnerability, and authenticity.”
My takeaway from this definition, along with my personal experience, is that emotional health really comes down to how real and compassionate we can be both with ourselves, and others.
Emotional health is about trust.
It’s about compassion.
It’s about making sure that we are getting our emotional needs met.
Now if I were to say we have biological needs, we’d all know what that means.
We need air, water, and food to survive.
And when we get these needs met, we feel good don’t we?
(Well, unless we’re eating some GARBAGE! :p.)
But if we’re eating HEALTHY foods, on top of getting some exercise and proper hydration, we FEEL good and some would argue we are actually feeling HAPPY.
I believe whenever we are unhappy it’s because we are not getting a particular need of ours met, and when we ARE happy it’s because a particular need IS being met.
Conversely, we know that if we DON’T get our biological needs met with proper air, water, and food, then we DON’T feel as good.
In this case we are talking about our biological needs, but the same thing applies to all other areas of our lives.
So now when we are getting our emotional needs met, we can say that we are emotionally healthy.
1. What Are Our Emotional Needs, and How Do We Get Them Met?
The FIRST area we need to look at is uncovering exactly what our emotional needs are, and THEN go about making sure we are getting those needs met.
In my experience, our emotional needs all boil down to the need for love.
I believe that LOVE IS our greatest need by the way.
You see, love gives us a sense of warmth and security.
It gives us a sense of fulfillment, joy, and happiness as well.
WE NEED LOVE!!!!
Honestly it really is as simple as that.
But it’s not enough to try to just get ‘love’ from other people places or things.
Regardless of where we are in our lives and of whether or not we have a significant other, we MUST learn to love ourselves.
We’ve got to be able to get our inner needs met within ourselves first and foremost.
We must be able to make ourselves feel warm and secure.
We’ve got to be able to tap into a sense of inner fulfillment and joy for ourselves as well.
And contrary to popular belief, being able to do this, you know, finding HAPPINESS, really isn’t that mysterious, mystical, OR out of reach for us as perhaps we’ve been led to believe.
2. We’ve GOT to Start with Being REAL.
Now the SECOND area we’ve got to look at here is called ‘keepin it real’ in some circles, and in other circles it’s known as being authentic.
Of course it’s always good to be real with others, but we must also learn to be real with ourselves as well.
And that means we’ve really just got to be honest with ourselves.
How do we feel?
No I mean REALLY.
How do you REALLY feel?
Are you happy?
Are you fulfilled in your life?
Is there anything you think you should be doing but aren’t?
Is there someone you think you should be talking to but haven’t yet?
Are you upset, sad, or angry in anyway from something that either happened recently OR in the past?
How do you REALLY FEEL????
Many of us have been conditioned over the years to sort of overlook ourselves or to ignore ourselves altogether.
When something happens that hurts us for example, we’re told just to ‘be tough’ and to ‘move on’.
When we are focused all on school, work, relationships, and whatever else we’re involved with, where is there time for us individually?
Of course it’s fine to go to school, to have a job and relationships etc.
But for whatever reason, in many societies, there simply isn’t much focus on us as individuals and of what WE need.
It’s almost like there is some underlying, unspoken message that we don’t really matter and that what matters is OTHER people and what THEY want or need.
Of course the end result to living our lives like this is that our inner selves, as well as our inner needs, are being completely ignored and brushed under the rug.
We are neglecting ourselves and our inner needs in one form or another.
This is the main issue when we are feeling unfulfilled in our lives, unhappy, unseen or unheard.
So to fix this, we’ve got to start paying attention to what our inner needs are and making sure that we are getting those needs met.
But again the first step to doing this is that we’ve got to start being real with ourselves.
We’ve really got to start being HONEST with ourselves and how we REALLY feel and what we REALLY think.
Now it’s possible that some of us don’t really know how to do that.
SO, I thought I’d share some helpful tools for you to be able to start doing this for yourself.
You can start by writing out how you feel on certain issues, people, subjects etc.
You could just grab a piece of paper and a pencil or pen and ask yourself, how do I feel right now?
And remember it’s just you.
There’s no need to be ‘perfect’ here.
Start by being honest with what means the most to you.
Inquire within if you are being your authentic self with people in general or if you tend to put up a shield or facade so people don’t get to see the real you.
It might be tricky to figure out how to be your authentic self in the beginning, but you will find that the more you are able to be your authentic self the BETTER you will feel in general.
AND the more you practice this you will find that it’s easier to be more open and authentic with others as well.
Who knows, maybe by being more of your authentic self you will attract others who are more in line with your TRUE vibe than you ever knew existed….
If you’re interested in some more tips on how to develop your authenticity, check out these suggestions by Dr. Tchiki Davis at psychologytoday.com.
3. After You’ve Been Real with Yourself, You MIGHT Find There’s Some Old Wounds that Need to be Processed
So after you’ve spent a little time becoming more real or authentic with yourself in regards to how you REALLY think and feel on a variety of subjects and issues, you MIGHT begin to uncover some uncomfortable stuff inside of you that’s been buried or suppressed for a while.
If that’s the case for you, know that that’s perfectly ok!
Because the THIRD major key to getting your emotional needs met lies in the area of processing any unresolved emotional issues or hangups that you might have within you.
And luckily there are some SIMPLE yet POWERFUL ways to do this without having to go to a therapist at all!
Of course if you feel the need to go to a therapist for some assistance in processing your emotional pain and blockages by all means you should do that.
HOWEVER, there are a number of ways to go about healing and getting your needs met on your own, regardless of whether you are also seeing a mental health professional or not.
Perhaps the best trick I can give to you after years of experimenting with various techniques for my own emotional healing, is to write out your memories to the best of your ability of something that happened that troubled you.
If you find something that happened recently or a while back keeps popping into your awareness, allow yourself some time to sit down and process it instead of simply ‘moving on’ and shoving it under the rug.
The BEST way to do this is to dissolve the inner darkness with the light of your own awareness itself.
And the best way to do THIS is to simply write out your memories of certain things that bother you.
Think of something that is bothering you from something that happened recently or from further in the past, and simply write out the event in as much detail as you possibly can.
Write out things like who was there when it happened, what day was it, what were you wearing, what time it was etc.
All of this information is lodged in your memory so the more you dig and ask yourself questions the more things will come to the surface.
When you have adequately done that, you can write out your thoughts and feelings on the matter.
And I do recommend allowing yourself to get as RAW and as authentic with your feelings as possible here.
Really let it rip, yell on the paper, scream, cuss……just allow it all to be authentic.
You’d be AMAZED at how much this process alone can allow you to process your emotions and to feel TONS better, all without anyone else every having to know!
By the way this process of writing out your true thoughts and feelings on an issue is known as a form of what’s called verbal ventilation.
Verbal ventilation, or grieving, will allow you to get in touch with your authentic self AND to heal at the same time!
If you’d like to take your emotional healing a bit deeper, you can check out a post I did on the subject here.
The Tiny Buddha also has some helpful tools if you’d like to explore this process even further.
Wrapping it Up
So to wrap it all together, the 3 primary keys you can start using now to increase your level of emotional health is as follows:
- Be sure to get your emotional needs met
- Be your authentic self
- Process your unresolved emotions
Of course to be optimally emotionally healthy there are certainly some more things you can do for yourself, but if you put these 3 steps into action you’ll be amazed at how much better you start to feel inside.
Becoming aware of your emotional needs is the first step, and then practicing being your authentic self both with yourself and others, on top of processing through any uncomfortable feelings as they arise WILL allow you to increase your emotional health in your life.
When you do these things you will also be getting your emotional needs met.
You’ll know it by how much inner freedom and JOY you start to feel!
And isn’t that what it’s all about….freedom and joy?
Oh and I almost forgot.
There’s a unique form of audio technology I use to help me process the trauma in my brain that I’ve dealt with in my life, and it has done WONDERS for me on almost every level.
It has made the process of getting my emotional needs met, as well as becoming aware of what’s keeping me stuck inside MUCH easier.
So if you’re into this whole healing and growing thing, check out my post on Holosync Audio Technology here.
So there you go!
You’ve got some work to do, but it’s all YOUR work and it’s all FOR you!
Doing this kind of work IS a bit challenging, but the more you tend to your own inner garden, the more you’ll find that mysterious ‘something’ bubbling up from within that gives you that warm, secure, fulfilled feeling that you’ve always been after…..
So here’s to you and your healing and joy!